Lonely Roads. Fullfilled Seconds.

For a long time my heart has been very heavy. So heavy it has been hard to even carry it. How easy would it be if you could just leave your heart somewhere for a bit, to feel free of feelings? And then you could get it back when you'd be ready to carry it again. Unfortunately that's impossible and maybe because of it, this blog was created.

Sometimes it's hard to put feelings into words but I think it's worth trying for. At the same time I've felt so completely empty in my heart but had an outrageous need to speak out every little feeling I've gone through. Write the words down somewhere where I could say everything without the fear of feeling it's not right and where I could go back to remember this difficult era in my life. When it's over.

Today is one of the many lonely days in my life. Saturday, horrible weather outside, no plans what so ever and not even the mood to do anything. Allthough it's not the most ideal way to spend the best day of the week, it's not the worst either. If you decide it's not.
I've been very lonely many times and for a long period of time in my short life so far. It can feel at times very painfull but there's some freedom in it too. I've learnt things of myself more than ever when I've been all on my own because I've had to face my fears and thoughts. In the end you can't escape from yourself.

We all sail alone in this life but at least the boats can flow away side by side. I want to make sure I keep myself in the boat, even when the road gets rocky. I want to feel the wind, enjoy the sun shine, see the landscapes and feel the beaty of them inside my heart. Each second is valuable and I want to remember that, even when it feels unbearable to live 60 of them or when hours feels like eternity.

We have only one life. This is mine.